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Can’t Stop Me Now Featured

Written by  Monday, 25 September 2017 11:30
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Pervasive Parenting
By Kodey Toney


I know it’s been a couple weeks since I wrote a column, but I’ve been extremely busy with work. I have been working with Schools and parents to help students perform better in school. I just returned from New Jersey where I was learning more about the new Every Student Succeeds Act (ESSA). While that is interesting, I’m not going to go into detail yet about it. I do want to share a little story about Konner.

This morning I was getting Konner ready for school like I always do, when I asked him if he had socks. He said that he didn’t, and I asked if he thought he should get them.
“No,” he replied. “I want you to do it because I’m too lazy.”

“That won’t fly around here,” I said. “You need to go get your socks. You know where they are.”

He said, “Ok, l’m not really lazy. I just wanted to play on my iPad some more.”

He’s honest to a fault sometimes. I usually always know what he’s thinking because he doesn’t hesitate to tell me.

The other part of this story that I want to point out is that I try to make Konner do things for himself. My goal in life is to make him as independent as possible. That is why over they years, even though I help him get ready for school, I make him do most of the work. I just supervise. I make sure that he does everything, but, aside from opening his medicine and fixing his hair, he does everything else. My next step is the hair though.

He fixes his own lunch, puts on his clothes, finds his school things, and gets his shoes and socks on. I’m pretty proud of this, though it has taken years of work to get here.

Too many times I see parents that want to do too much for their child. I understand, but, as I’ve said many times before, that breeds learned helplessness. The only thing holding your child back is you and your child.

David Deaton

Digital Editor at Oklahoma Welcome

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