By Joe Harwell
Oklahoma Welcome has intercepted secret documents revealing a potentially dangerous project underway by members of the Poteau Alumni Association in conjunction with the PHS all class reunion this weekend. The covert project, underway for decades, will take place between Thursday and Sunday evenings at Costner Stadium at sunset.
Reunion attendees will gather on the stadium track at the 50 yard line on the home side. At sunset they will begin walking backwards, and with each lap completed, their physical appearance will regress by one year. Those who jog the laps backwards will regerss 5 years per lap and 10 years if running backwards.This is all possible through an invisible transfunctional interface device covertly installed on top of Cavanal Hill.
Participats will retain all the knowledge and experience gained during their lifetime while their body gets younger. They are warned not to get carried away and stop making so many backward laps they regress to their infant stage of life.
Good walking, jogging or running shoes are recommended. Assistance devices like walking canes, walkers or wheelchairs are allowed but must be abandoned safely at the side of the track when they become unnecessary. With board approval, alumni may appoint a designated walker as long as both wear tin foil hats to traansmit the effect and protect designated walkers.
Authorities in Poteau are considering the legal remifications of allowing this to occur due to the possibility of a rift in the space time continuim. Citizens are cautioned to consider their own safety before participating or observing the phenominon this weekend.
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